Kahlua in my coffee this morning..

So that babysitter said she would come this morning at 9am to "make up" for her absence yesterday and she did not show up AGAIN. I didn't even ask her to come today, she offered to. She didn't call. Nothing. We are done before we've even begun and now I have to find someone else. I just can't believe she did it again, I'm really shocked. The timing could hardly be worse.

@#$!!&%!!

I've been looking forward to having my babysitter start helping me for 12 hours a week since last month. She was supposed to start today but she forgot and didn't show up. 2:00 came and went...just devastating.

To My Babies..

Happy mother's day to the ones who made me a mother.

Miles, you are such a joy. You're just the nicest child and you're too cute for words. Every day you do something new and bring countless smiles to my face. Thanks for your patience with me as I figure out how to juggle two kids.

Danika, you're growing up too fast. When I'm breast feeding you I keep looking down at how long you seem. You are so precious. I think you know who I am now, at least I feel you do. Your brother is a constant reminder of how fast you will grow. Someday soon you'll be making me drop you off a block before your destination so your friends don't see, but for now I'm going to hold on tight as you nestle your little body against mine.

I love you both

Today

Here are some recent pictures of the kids. Danika has been less fussy and actually taking naps by herself of decent length which has really changed the way I feel at the end of the day. I can get stuff done when I'm just watching Miles but when I have Danika up too and she screams every time I put her down, things just pile up throughout the day. Miles has been so great. I thought he would act up and show his frustration more with the baby around but he's actually stopped doing some of his normal "stuff" like throwing food from the high chair and such. He's just precious and I really enjoy being around him (today).

Two is easier than one, and other lies

Danika is 2 months old today. The last couple of days have been hell. For some reason she has not been napping during the day and she cries constantly. They say (I read it in The Female Brain - great book ladies), baby girls pick up their mother's moods more than boys so perhaps that is what's going on here. My mom says that when I was very young I picked up on her moods instantly, even when she tried her hardest to conceal them if she had been having a tough day. I have been extra stressed as my mom shattered her ankle in a fall and has been in the hospital for the last week - she doesn't deserve any of the difficult recovery she faces. This is a picture after surgery. It's hard because I want to be with her all the time but I have these other responsibilities so I'm not nearly as available as I'd like to be. I'm so glad our whole family is living here right now so we can be near her and hopefully make her recovery a little better.

Better stuff

I should be sleeping but I can't resist spending some time in my house alone while everyone else sleeps (including that baby I mentioned earlier). Here are some recent pictures. That's grandma's hat Miles in wearing. We love grandma.

Oh. My. God.

I'm looking for some sympathy here. This baby, my baby, has not had a nap consisting of more than 10 minutes for the last 12 hours. Yes, it's 8:30 right now and she woke up at 8am this morning (after being up from 3am-5:30am) and has not really slept since. Every time I put her down she cries. This morning I was in the kitchen with the dishwasher running and the laundry running, cooking breakfast for Miles while he and Danika cried. I felt like I was having an out of body experience. I hurt all over.