Baby Days

Dan Secord for Supervisor!

2010-03-19T13:16:00.000-07:00

My father Dr. Dan Secord is running for 2nd district supervisor. Check out his website!

Dan Secord for 2nd District Supervisor

What I Learned at School Today

2008-09-15T14:00:00.000-07:00

Miles did great on his first day of school, not a tear to be found. I was so relieved! Today was my first day working there and I really enjoyed it. I wasn't sure I would, but I found it totally relaxing. I got to hang out and play in the sandbox while kids came and went. I helped make tracks for their trucks, hid "jewels" for them to dig up and discover and helped wash their little hands at the end of it all. It was nice to be able to just focus on playing, not cleaning, laundry or cooking. I'm going to try to take that lesson home with me.

Ist Day of Preschool!

2008-09-12T10:46:00.000-07:00

I dropped Miles off at preschool this morning and left him there for the 1st time. You may recall a previous post of the same kind about a year ago. I sent him when he when he was around 20 months but it was too tough for both of us and I decided to wait until he got a little older. This time his cousin Remi is there with him and it's a co-op so I will be working there one day and his aunt Jen will be working there another day so that makes me feel much more comfortable. That said, my chest has been tight since I left him and I keep looking at the clock to see if it isn't finally time to go pick him up.

Muppet luv

2008-08-19T13:15:00.000-07:00

A girl after my own heart :)

Trip to San Diego

2008-08-18T13:22:00.000-07:00

We took our first family trip a few weeks back to visit my cousin Dianne, her husband Orlando and son Sammy. Dianne and Orlando were fabulous hosts and seemed sorry to see us go despite the fact that within hours of arriving my kids rubbed play dough into their carpet and tracked diarrhea through their living room. The trip included a few firsts including Danika's first hotel stay and the first time in a real pool for both kids!

Danika took to feeding Sammy and would probably still be doing it had we not forcefully stopped her.

Hi again

2008-08-15T20:45:00.000-07:00

Hola
I'm certain no one is still checking this blog as it's been SO long since I posted but I'm back in the saddle tonight. Robert is away on a 4-day bachelor party (how did this get to be ok?), and I'm feeling good so far on how I've handled the kids. It's a long time without him but I have lots of help and it's been fine really. He's been working kind of late so I've grown accustomed to doing dinner/bath time alone so it's mostly his company that I miss. It's funny that before we had kids I would have been worried about Robert on a bachelor party (there were so many) - what is he doing, who is he with etc.. but now I just think, have as much fun as you can. Don't get arrested or lose too much money if you gamble and that's about it. It feels really healthy.

Oh, and Miles is STILL two :)

Some changes

2008-04-08T13:04:00.000-07:00

It's lasted longer than an illness. It's nothing he ate. He's been getting enough sleep.

It is for these reasons that I must face the fact that Miles has hit the terrible twos. He's a wonderful kid and all but things have been tough around here for about a month. EVERYTHING is a battle. Every meal, outing, bedtime, change of clothes or diaper - even fun things like getting ready to go to a park or see a friend. There are multiple tantrums each day. It's been exhausting and the days are feeling long. I feel myself watching the clock for the hour when reinforcements (husband) arrive. I know this is a stage and that it too will pass. Until then I am doing my best not to match his mood. I can't get derailed by every tantrum, I have another kid hanging onto my skirt and I have learned from experience that the calmer I am the better things are.

On the plus side, Danika has been wonderful. All I can ask for is that they stagger their tough patches :)

Paaarty

2008-03-12T09:56:00.000-07:00

Last week Danika celebrated her 1st birthday. We had 2 little parties and both she and Miles enjoyed themselves immensely. I think her favorite present was a baby doll from her aunt Jenny. She loves that thing and cuddles it all the time - so cute. She's totally walking now - pretty much no crawling anymore which opens up the world of dresses!! I am guilty of dressing her up like a little girly girl, I can't help it :P Here are some pictures of the festivities.

Walking!!

2008-02-19T21:58:00.000-08:00

Well, we were right, Danika took her first step today! Unfortunately I missed it as I was in the kitchen getting something for someone but Robert was right there and he yelled out to Miles and I about it. Very exciting. I will be anxiously watching for the next one. She's right on track with Miles who also took his first steps in his 11th month.

I spent extra time putting her to bed tonight and held her close until she fell asleep. I smelled her breath as she slept and stroked her little ear lobes like she likes. Walking is good of course, it's what she's supposed to do. It's just that now she can walk away.

Baby Girl

2008-02-18T21:22:00.000-08:00

Here are some recent pictures of Danika. She's cruising the furniture and we're all watching for that first solo step - it'll be any day now.

2 Things

2008-02-14T13:12:00.000-08:00

Some things happened today that I felt are worth sharing. First, I pulled the "lock the keys AND kids in the car" trick. My car is in the shop so I'm driving Robert's and you lock that car by flipping a switch inside the car instead of pressing a button on your keys (which are presumably in your hand), like you do with my car. I have a spare but of course it was in my wallet. In the car. Thankfully we were only in our garage so the embarrassment factor was minimal. Anyway, I tried to get Miles to unlock himself from the car seat so he could open the door, but he kept saying "mommy do it" which led me to believe he just didn't get it. Eventually my sister brought her spare and we moved on with the day.

The next thing that happened is that Miles took his nap in a big boy bed (thank you Ben & Jen!). He's actually sleeping in there right now so I'm curious to see how long this nap lasts. It will be so weird to have him just open the door and walk out of his room like a regular person.

A week in photos

2008-02-10T20:48:00.000-08:00

Miles has taken an interest in the camera. Here is some of his recent work.

Letter to Me

2008-02-03T20:16:00.000-08:00

My friend Lauren recently emailed me this article by Anna Quindlen that was published in Newsweek in Oct of 2000. It really spoke to me and made me wince. I can identify with this woman and my husband has often tried to encourage me to slow down and enjoy parenting more. Anyway, it's long I know, but give it a read especially if you've got a little one.

Goodbye Dr. Spock

If not for the photographs I might have a hard time believing they ever existed. The pensive infant with the swipe of dark bangs and the black button eyes of a Raggedy Andy doll. The placid baby with the yellow ringlets and the high piping voice. The sturdy toddler with the lower lip that curled into an apostrophe above her chin. ALL MY BABIES are gone now. I say this not in sorrow but in disbelief. I take great satisfaction in what I have today: three almost-adults, two taller than I am, one closing in fast. Three people who read the same books I do and have learned not to be afraid of disagreeing with me in their opinion of them, who sometimes tell vulgar jokes that make me laugh until I choke and cry, who need razor blades and shower gel and privacy, who want to keep their doors closed more than I like. Who,
miraculously, go to the bathroom, zip up their jackets and move food from plate to mouth all by themselves. Like the trick soap I bought for the bathroom with a rubber duckie at its center, the baby is buried deep within each, barely

discernible except through the unreliable haze of the past.

Everything in all the books I once pored over is finished for me now. Penelope Leach. T. Berry Brazelton. Dr. Spock. The ones on sibling rivalry and sleeping through the night and early-childhood education, all grown obsolete. Along with Goodnight Moon and Where the Wild Things Are, they are battered, spotted, well used. But I suspect that if you flipped the pages, dust would rise like memories. What those books taught me, finally, and
what the women on the playground taught me, and the well-meaning relations, what they taught me was that they couldn't really teach me very much at all.

Raising children is presented at first as a true-false test, then it becomes multiple choice, until finally, far along, you realize that it is an endless essay. No one knows anything. One child responds well to positive reinforcement, another can be managed only with a stern voice and a timeout. One boy is toilet trained at 3, his brother at 2. When my first child was born, parents were told to put Baby to bed on his belly so that he would not choke on his own spit-up. By the time my last arrived, babies were put down on their backs because of research on sudden infant death syndrome.

To a new parent this ever-shifting certainty is terrifying, and then soothing. Eventually you must learn to trust yourself. Eventually the research will follow. First science told us they were insensate blobs. But we thought they were looking, and watching, and learning, even when they spent so much time hitting themselves in the face. And eventually science
said that we were right, that important cognitive function began in early babyhood. First science said environment was the great shaper of human nature. But it certainly seemed as though those babies had distinct personalities, some contemplative, some gregarious, some crabby. And eventually science said that was right, too, and that they were hard-wired exactly as we had suspected.

Still, the temptation to defer to the experts was huge. The literate parent, who approaches everything; cooking, decorating, life as though there were a paper due or an exam scheduled, is in particular peril when the kids arrive. How silly it all seems now, the obsessing about language acquisition and physical milestones, the riding the waves of normal, gifted, hyperactive, all those labels that reduced individuality to a series of cubbyholes.

But I could not help myself. I had watched my mother casually raise five children born over 10 years, but by watching her I intuitively knew that I was engaged in the greatest and potentially most catastrophic task of my life. I knew that there were mothers who had worried with good reason, that there were children who would have great challenges to meet. We were lucky; ours were not among them. Nothing horrible or astonishing happened: there was hernia surgery, some stitches, a broken arm and a fuchsia cast to go with it. Mostly ours were the ordinary everyday terrors and miracles of raising a child, and our children's challenges the old familiar ones of learning to live as themselves in the world.

The trick was to get past my fears, my ego and my inadequacies to help them do that. During my first pregnancy I picked up a set of old clothbound books at a flea market. Published in 1933, they were called Mother'sEncyclopedia, and one volume described what a mother needs to be: psychologically good, sound, wholesome, healthy, unafraid, able to deal with the world and to live in this particular age, an integrated personality, an adjusted person. In a word, yow. It is good that we know so much more now, know that mothers need not be perfect to be successful.

But some of what we learn is as pernicious as that daunting description, calculated to make us feel like failures every single day. I remember 15 years ago poring over one of Dr. Brazelton's wonderful books on child development, in which he describes three different sorts of infants: average, quiet, and active. I was looking for a sub quiet codicil for an 18-month-old who did not walk. Was there something wrong with his fat little legs? Was there something wrong with his tiny little mind? Was he developmentally delayed, physically challenged? Was I insane? Last year he went to China. Next year he goes to college. He can walk just fine. He can walk too well. Every part of raising children at some point comes down to this: be careful what you wish for.

Every part of raising children is humbling, too. Believe me, mistakes were made. They have all been enshrined in the Remember When Mom Did Hall of Fame. The outbursts, the temper tantrums, the bad language, mine, not theirs. The times the baby fell off the bed. The times I arrived late for preschool pickup. The nightmare sleepover. The horrible summer camp. The day when the youngest came barreling out of the classroom with a 98 on her geography
test, and I responded, What did you get wrong? (She insisted I include that.)The time I ordered food at the McDonald's drive-through speaker and then drove away without picking it up from the window. (They all insisted I include that.) I did not allow them to watch the Simpsons for the first two seasons. What was I thinking?

But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three of them sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4 and 1. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.

Even today I'm not sure what worked and what didn't, what was me and what was simply life. How much influence did I really have over the personality of the former baby who cried only when we gave parties and who today, as a teenager, still dislikes socializing and crowds?

When they were very small, I suppose I thought someday they would become who they were because of what I'd done. Now I suspect they simply grew into their true selves because they demanded in a thousand ways that I back off and let them be. There was babbling I forgot to do, stimulation they never got, foods I meant to introduce and never got around to introducing. If a black-and-white mobile really increases depth perception and early exposure to classical music increases the likelihood of perfect pitch, I blew it. The books said to be relaxed and I was often tense, matter-of-fact, and I was sometimes over the top. And look how it all turned out. I wound up with the three people I like best in the world, who have done more than anyone to excavate my essential humanity.

That's what the books never told me. I was bound and determined to learn from the experts. It just took me a while to figure out who the experts were.

Dude

2008-01-24T18:43:00.000-08:00

So excited. I entered a fitness challenge contest on sbparent.com at the recommendation of my dear friend Kristen. They pick a certain number of moms to participate in different fitness programs throughout the city free of charge for a number of weeks. I was able to select 6 weeks at a Pilates studio. I have always wanted to try that! The only catch is that you must work out at least 3 times a week and do a short blog about your experience twice a week I think. 3 workouts a week is ah...about 3 more workouts a week than I have done since I was preggers with Miles but I am up for it, I'm ready. I'm gonna go eat some cheese to prepare.

Trains and Candy Canes

2007-12-11T13:19:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday my sister and I took Miles and Danika to see a model train set at the Library. Miles was so interested. He sat mesmerized most of the time.
Later that evening he got to decorate his first gingerbread house with the help of my mom and niece Adrianne. We took the parts and candy out of the box and the first thing he did was stuff his pockets with the largest pieces of candy. Boy is a planner. I wouldn't say the house is structurally sound but it tastes pretty good.

No MY Da ka!

2007-12-05T21:56:00.000-08:00

These two are the best of friends provided Danika (Da Ka) is not trying to play with Miles' toys. Here they are perfecting the crawl

sharing a healthy lunch (dude, I'm busy ok?)

Danika supervising the bath

jumping!

Holidaze

2007-12-05T21:22:00.000-08:00

Lights are up and the tree is done, or I should say it's "on" Last year we purchased a fake tree. Something I thought I would never do but Miles was getting into everything and it seemed like a good compromise. I have to say I kind of like it, not that it will replace a real tree but just for one more year as Danika is into everything now. It's all silver and kind of modern - my sister has a pink one that I love too. You just take this thing out of the box, stick it together plug it in and it's Christmas. Done.
Having kids has it's advantages. They allow you to board the plane sooner, they eat free on Tuesdays, you can dress them up how you want and they can't do anything about it

but perhaps my latest favorite is how they make holidays so much better. I have always been a sap for holidays but it's so much more special with them around. Miles is old enough to get what's going on and look forward to things, which opens up a whole different game. He knows Santa is coming and he's going to put a candy cane in his stocking. For him. To eat. That's pretty much the best thing that could EVER happen, so Santa's in good. I want to do everything , go to every parade and Holiday show, to show them everything I can because there is so much to see.

Boo!

2007-11-01T11:09:00.000-07:00

All Aboard! Miles is Two

2007-10-24T21:16:00.000-07:00

Miles turned two years old on the 18th which kicked off a week of birthday activities. We started with a little party with my PEP group and his little friends and then there was a visit to his favorite bowling alley. We finished off with a lovely (quiet, calm, short!), party at the railroad museum which was appropriate as his favorite thing right now is trains. Trains all day, everyday. He was surrounded by his favorite things and more importantly by his favorite people. He gets more wonderful everyday and he is truly cherished.

So Nice

2007-10-14T20:53:00.000-07:00

Robert and I just got back from a 3 night trip away. Alone. Without kids. It was so wonderful that we decided to make it a priority to get away for at least 2 nights once a year. It was just so nice to relate only as a couple and to take our time doing everything. The drive took 6 hours and we just talked all the way. We haven't talked that much in years and it was great. The more he talks, the more impressed I am. Oh, and the hotel room was amazing. It was so CLEAN and someone came to clean it everyday. Someone other than me. If you know me you know this is the way into my heart. It was heavenly. We missed the kids a ton of course and spent much of our time talking about things we love about them and doing impersonations of Miley. Coming home and having him drop his toys and run into our arms was gold. We will be smothering him for days. Strangly Danika wants nothing to do with me which is something I didn't expect - she won't breastfeed and when I hold her she cries and I can feel her body pulling away from me. Hopefully this will be all taken care of by morning :)

2007-09-18T17:40:00.000-07:00

I'm at the end of today's rope. There is a rope for every day. I'm having a glass of wine in front of the computer with iTunes blasting so I can't hear the screaming coming from the bedroom. Danika is just not sleeping during the day. I swear I have only had a break from holding for 10-15 minutes in the last 10 hours. I've gotten her to sleep 6-7 times but every time I put her down she wakes up and finally I just had to leave her for a few minutes. Not really because I think she'll go to sleep, because I don't, but because I'm fixin to lose it here. I remember going through this with Miles. It's hard because you get your hopes up and start to think about what you're going to do once they are down - it's so close you can touch it, but it's always out of your grasp when they won't cooperate. Miles is with his grandparents and so this is her big opportunity, there is no sleeping when Miles is here because I don't have the time to dedicate to putting her down and he wakes her up. I fantasize about those people who do nap time by just putting the baby in the crib, closing the door and walking away. Then again, I don't really know any people like that.
This is pretty negative..but maybe no one is reading it :)

Danika - 6 months

2007-09-17T11:48:00.001-07:00

Sleep training cont.

2007-09-13T19:03:00.000-07:00

On the 2nd night of sleep training, I let Danika cry for 35 minutes and then I caved. I ran into the bedroom and made a deal with Robert in true Secord fashion. I said hey, why don't we just split the nights going forward and I'll get up with her between 10-2 and you can handle 2-6. Part of me wishes Robert had not let me cave so easily but before he could even agree I was in Danika's room with my boob in her mouth. Oh well. I guess this means I haven't really "had it".

Kudos me

2007-09-13T18:59:00.000-07:00

me: "I'm going to the gym today"
Robert: "you?"

I went to the gym today for the first time since before I gave birth to Miles. The key is...to go again.

Sleep Training. Yuck.

2007-09-10T21:42:00.000-07:00

Sleep training starts tonight for Danika. We, or I should say mostly "I" have been getting up with her anywhere from 1 to 5 times a night and the time has come to see if she can fall asleep on her own so that she may be able to get back to sleep on her own when she wakes up. I hate the whole thing. I really do, but we did it with Miles and it worked and he's been a great sleeper ever since. I just have to remind myself that she won't remember any of it and she'll still love us tomorrow.

So far it's gone well. I put her in her crib awake, she cried and then went back to sleep when Robert went in to console her after 5 minutes. Hopefully it will continue. If not I have plenty of booze and an ample supply of ear plugs.

Rockin the Talkin

2007-08-22T19:40:00.000-07:00

Miles has made tremendous progress vocally in the last few weeks. All of the sudden we are having conversations with him. TWO sided ones. He's saying 3 or 4 words together and is really able to express what he wants. This is good and bad because it means I am forever responding to requests for this or that. I do draw the line, but some days I'm still figuring out where I want it. He's become very particular as well, wanting drinks in certain cups and for you to push him on the swing only by touching his feet. It trips me out to ask him questions and have him say "Yeah". "You're pretty hyper, did grandpa give you soda at his house?" "Yeah." "Did daddy have strippers here while mommy was at the store?" "Yeah".

I have been told that kids are great until they start talking, but so far I really enjoy talking with this kid. Sure he asks for more stuff and it's sometimes more work, but he can also say "I love you mommy" and folks there's nothing better.

Give me strength

2007-08-02T21:52:00.000-07:00

Things are tough here lately. Miles is really struggling. He just does not want me to have anything to do with Danika. When it's just the 3 of us at home he has a complete meltdown when I go to hold / change / feed her. I am trying to use distraction and I have also committed to spending at least 30 minutes playing on the floor with him without Danika around, but so far it's not effective. It breaks my heart. I feel for him but at the same time I still need to meet her basic needs.
Normally this blog is just about me sharing my experience and I'm not really interested in commentary about my parenting choices however if anyone has been there and has any advice, I'm all ears.

No Go

2007-07-26T13:57:00.000-07:00

I officially de-enrolled Miles from pre-school. He was so clearly traumatized that it wasn't worth it. I had always told myself I would try it but not push it if he wasn't ready considering his young age. If he was 2 and 1/2 I would say hey, we just have to get through this even if it's tough, but he's not. After only being left there twice for 30 minutes each time, he showed major signs of stress and he's still working through it. He started calling me and checking on me ALL the time at the house and he doesn't want to do anything alone anymore. Also if I leave him with Robert at the house he gets a little upset. The most disturbing thing was when I left him with my mom at her house and my dad called 30 minutes later to have me come back and get him because he was inconsolable. That blew my mind since he adores my mom and I've left him there tons of times. I'll try again around April and hopefully it will turn out better.

Poor little guy

2007-07-11T12:15:00.000-07:00

I left Miley at preschool today for the 1st time. I left him at 8:30am and they called me by 9:15 to come and get him. When I arrived I could hear him screaming before I had even pulled into a parking place. He was officially upset. I asked for advice on what to do next time and they recommended I only leave for 1/2 hour on Friday and slowly increase the time I am gone to help build the trust that every time I leave, I will come back. I then had to get used to the fact that this won't actually provide me with any kind of a break, on the contrary it will be more work, for some time. I am nauseous and filled with doubt. Is this the right thing? It he too young? Do I need that second cup of coffee? hmm

Daddy's Girl

2007-07-02T22:16:00.001-07:00

First Day of School!

2007-07-02T12:46:00.001-07:00

Miles started preschool today. I stayed with him just to help get his acclimated with the place and the people. The kids are really nice and it all went pretty well. Getting out of the house was stressful - I'll have to learn to be a little more organized with that. Getting two kids under two out of the house by 8am means there can be no wasted motion. He's playing with his good friend Emily up top. The last picture is him offering play-dough to the fish. Naturally.

When he goes again on Friday, I'll leave him there by himself.

Probably.

Two Words. Gripe Water

2007-06-13T21:38:00.000-07:00

So, I'm not usually into stuff like this but I was recently visiting my friend who has triplets. Naturally. 3 boys. AND a two-year old.
Anyway, I had hoped this would make me feel better about my light load in comparison, but no luck, as her babies were the vision of happiness and apparently only cry when hungry or tired. OMG. She recommended this gripe water called Baby's Bliss for Danika who was of course crying during most of the visit. I don't know if it worked or it was just "her time" to pull out of this but since that day she has been a different kid. Not perfect of course but the crying time has gone down to an hour or two at most and this has made all the difference. Now we just have to work on the fact that she still can only be held by me, Robert or sometimes our Neice Adrianne without screaming and that she says she wants to go into politics to make some changes around here. Christ.

Breathing

2007-06-09T16:29:00.000-07:00

Things are kind of hairy here. Danika is still crying for 4-5 hours a day. People think she has gas/tummy troubles. Miles has recently started acting out a little and getting physically aggressive. This could be just a terrible two thing or maybe he needs more one on one attention, either way it makes the long days even longer.
This is by far the most difficult thing I have ever done, having these two kids so close together. Hopefully I will come out of it a better and more patient person. Sure, there are nice moments throughout the day when one or both of them is being especially cute or essentially any moment when they are both not crying, but a lot of it is just freakin chaos. And you should see my house right now. I can hardly bring myself to look around, it makes me tense up so much. I'm a clean person. I like things to be neat and clean, it's one of the reasons I like to stay at hotels so much. Every day I do laundry and dishes and clean up the whole house and every night it looks like 6 college age dudes live there.

Something

2007-06-01T16:19:00.000-07:00

This morning I signed Miles up to start preschool on July 1st. The place seems great and all his little friends are going to go there too. It was like Disneyland, there were toys and craft projects everywhere and plenty of outdoor space to run around and get dirty. It's only for 12 hours a week and even though he's really young I think he's ready for something like that and that he'll have a good time, a better time than he does hanging around here especially now that so much of my attention is going towards Danika. That said, the moment I got off the phone with the woman, I wanted to call her back and cancel the whole thing.
I feel something inside.
Something big.
Something sad.

Kahlua in my coffee this morning..

2007-05-15T12:56:00.000-07:00

So that babysitter said she would come this morning at 9am to "make up" for her absence yesterday and she did not show up AGAIN. I didn't even ask her to come today, she offered to. She didn't call. Nothing. We are done before we've even begun and now I have to find someone else. I just can't believe she did it again, I'm really shocked. The timing could hardly be worse.

@#$!!&%!!

2007-05-14T15:15:00.000-07:00

I've been looking forward to having my babysitter start helping me for 12 hours a week since last month. She was supposed to start today but she forgot and didn't show up. 2:00 came and went...just devastating.

To My Babies..

2007-05-12T23:07:00.000-07:00

Happy mother's day to the ones who made me a mother.

Miles, you are such a joy. You're just the nicest child and you're too cute for words. Every day you do something new and bring countless smiles to my face. Thanks for your patience with me as I figure out how to juggle two kids.

Danika, you're growing up too fast. When I'm breast feeding you I keep looking down at how long you seem. You are so precious. I think you know who I am now, at least I feel you do. Your brother is a constant reminder of how fast you will grow. Someday soon you'll be making me drop you off a block before your destination so your friends don't see, but for now I'm going to hold on tight as you nestle your little body against mine.

I love you both

Today

2007-05-12T10:29:00.000-07:00

Here are some recent pictures of the kids. Danika has been less fussy and actually taking naps by herself of decent length which has really changed the way I feel at the end of the day. I can get stuff done when I'm just watching Miles but when I have Danika up too and she screams every time I put her down, things just pile up throughout the day. Miles has been so great. I thought he would act up and show his frustration more with the baby around but he's actually stopped doing some of his normal "stuff" like throwing food from the high chair and such. He's just precious and I really enjoy being around him (today).

Two is easier than one, and other lies

2007-05-04T12:22:00.000-07:00

Danika is 2 months old today. The last couple of days have been hell. For some reason she has not been napping during the day and she cries constantly. They say (I read it in The Female Brain - great book ladies), baby girls pick up their mother's moods more than boys so perhaps that is what's going on here. My mom says that when I was very young I picked up on her moods instantly, even when she tried her hardest to conceal them if she had been having a tough day. I have been extra stressed as my mom shattered her ankle in a fall and has been in the hospital for the last week - she doesn't deserve any of the difficult recovery she faces. This is a picture after surgery. It's hard because I want to be with her all the time but I have these other responsibilities so I'm not nearly as available as I'd like to be. I'm so glad our whole family is living here right now so we can be near her and hopefully make her recovery a little better.

Better stuff

2007-05-02T21:41:00.000-07:00

I should be sleeping but I can't resist spending some time in my house alone while everyone else sleeps (including that baby I mentioned earlier). Here are some recent pictures. That's grandma's hat Miles in wearing. We love grandma.

Oh. My. God.

2007-05-02T20:17:00.000-07:00

I'm looking for some sympathy here. This baby, my baby, has not had a nap consisting of more than 10 minutes for the last 12 hours. Yes, it's 8:30 right now and she woke up at 8am this morning (after being up from 3am-5:30am) and has not really slept since. Every time I put her down she cries. This morning I was in the kitchen with the dishwasher running and the laundry running, cooking breakfast for Miles while he and Danika cried. I felt like I was having an out of body experience. I hurt all over.

Suckcess!

2007-04-19T20:54:00.000-07:00

Just a quick post to say that breastfeeding is officially working after 6 weeks of slight discomfort (my ass). It's now a "pleasant experience for both of us" like the books said it would be from the start, but whatever.

Danika House

2007-04-12T10:20:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted any pictures of Danika in a while because she has a nasty acne rash all over her face but the hell with it, here are a couple of recent shots. The first one was taken this morning as she realized that Robert had eaten all of the bacon and left none for her.

She's growing like a weed - already weighs 10.5 lbs so we're going to try to slow down on all the formula "snacks". Sometimes it's just easier to feed them when they seem hungry rather than go through all that soothing cha cha to see if you can hold them off.

We Done Been Warned

2007-03-24T08:11:00.001-07:00

We took Danika for her two week check-up yesterday. The kid has already gained 1 lb 4 ounces! I felt a certain sense of satisfaction knowing that the countless hours she has spent attached to me have added up to something significant. Our pediatrician is great and he's been practicing for like 20-30 years or something. At the end of our visit he said "she has a strong personality, you're going to be pulling your hair out". He said he's always been able to tell a lot about a kid's personality from seeing them as a baby and I suppose he should know. The funny thing is that just two days before, my mom told me out of nowhere that Danika's going to be "strong willed" (she has that "womanly" sense of things so I generally take her seriously). I think this is good. It may be tough, but I can appreciate having a daughter who can take names and kick some ass.

Pictures

2007-03-18T18:59:00.000-07:00

So, two weeks have come and gone and life is going well at our house. Miles is really sweet with Danika. He looks for her around the house, offers her his most coveted toys and lovingly pats her on the head whenever she is within his reach. He has never seemed so big or adorable to me. Miles also seems to be enjoying spending so much time with his daddy. Robert's been doing it all - the meals, diaper changes, naps, baths... he may not do things exactly the way I do (i.e. the RIGHT way), but the kid is fed, clean, relatively well rested and happy so I can't complain. He even does the wash and dishes somehow and I have to confess I have learned some parenting "tricks" from him which I will surely steal.

Where have I been you ask? I have been feeding Danika in her room, sitting in our ridiculously comfortable new gliding rocker seen here. It's not the one we ordered but ours was delayed so the store sent this one out for us to use until it was ready and I fell in love with it. It reclines all the way so you can totally sleep in it and red is my favorite color - it doesn't really go with the room but when she gets older it will look better in our living room. I may be premature in saying so but I think breastfeeding is going to work out this time. It's getting a little better day by day and if it never gets any better I could handle this pain so woo hoo, I'm pretty pleased with myself :)

Made it through the first week

2007-03-12T13:58:00.000-07:00

So as you heard, Danika arrived last Sunday. I've had trouble finding time to post since then as sleeping, eating and bathing have taken precedent during my 15 minute breaks from feeding her. Seriously, the kid eats like a horse. I'm attempting breastfeeding again and it pretty much sucks, again (no pun intended). I really love being able to do it and the closeness I feel to her when we're all snuggled up together but so far it still smarts. I plan to stick with it though.

Labor was not so bad this time around - though considerably longer than with Miles. My epidural didn't quite take all the way leaving me with a mysterious thing the doctors called a "window" essentially meaning an area that did not respond to the drug leaving me able to feel more than I should have. They kept giving me extra shots of the drug to see if they could fix it which left me with legs so numb they could have pulled out my toe nails without me knowing. This worried me considerably having heard lots of epidural failure horror stories however once I got to the pushing part I felt no pain just like last time so it all worked out great.

Motherhood is wonderful the second time around and Danika is just precious. As I type this she is in her swing behind me and sleeping for what seems like the first time today! I find myself easily doing things it took me weeks to be comfortable about when we had Miles which is nice. Robert has two months off again which is really essential as Danika needs to be fed on the hour and I can't lift Miles for two more weeks. I have no idea what I would do if he had to go back to work right away, I would have lost my mind. Miles is doing really well with the transition so far but he really needs to be kept active and out of the house or he gets kind of moody. On a positive note he's gotten more comfortable being cared for by other people and he's fallen head over heels with his uncle Ryan who lives next door. Ryan was in charge of him when I was in labor and honestly I think Miles would have preferred we stay away a little longer so they could have more uninterrupted time to play. He really loves him.
Ok, see, she's rooting again. I swear it's only been 45 minutes.

Welcome Baby Danika Mislang! - a post by sister Jenny

2007-03-04T21:08:00.000-08:00

Today, Sunday March 4th Lara and Robert Mislang welcomed their daughter Danika Secord Mislang. She was a healthy 6 lbs 15 oz and 19 inches long featuring especially elegant hands. Both mom and baby are happy and healthy and as I type this, Lara and Robert are getting to know their daughter at Cottage hospital. Lara said "She's so sweet, I just want to play with her" She'll be there for two nights and then home. Big brother Miles is home tonight with me (aunt Jenny) and Uncle Ryan. For photos of the day please visit my flickr gallery for Danika and my personal website www.jenredstar.com for stories.

Danika's Room

2007-03-03T16:14:00.000-08:00

Here are some pictures of Danika's room. We split our bedroom in two to create this room so it's small but still cute and the high ceilings make it feel bigger.

Place Your Bets!

2007-02-27T07:49:00.000-08:00

When do you think little Danika will arrive?
Here are the stats: Due date is 3/15 and as of Friday I was 2cm dilated, 80% effaced and the baby's head was at station 0. Contractions are still scattered. So far Jenny has stated that the 3rd is going to be the day and Robert is betting on the 6th. The lucky winner will receive a handsome prize so choose carefully...

Currently Miles and I are both pretty sick so hopefully she will wait at least until we are better before the big day. On a happier note, the nursery is all ready with the exception of the glider/rocker which is on order and some aesthetic details to be added shortly. I'll post pictures soon.

The Dreaded "B" Word

2007-02-19T11:20:00.000-08:00

No baby yet...
I was placed on modified bed rest on Friday as a result of my contractions. They'd like the baby to cook for at least one more week to get me to 37 weeks. Times like this make me especially thankful to be near my family. Yesterday Jenny was painting the baby's room while Mom cleaned out my freezer and Robert put together the crib given to us by his parents. I could not ask for more from these people - they rock.

Babywatch 2007

2007-02-15T21:05:00.000-08:00

Having contractions or "contraptions" as Robert would say, for the last two days. I finally started timing them tonight and I've had one every 12-20 minutes for the last two hours. Guess tomorrow is a good day to finish packing my bag O' fun and get some things in order around the house.
I was over at my neighbor's house today and a friend of hers who was also there suggested that if I'm really ready to have the baby and I want to speed things along, I should take a long bike ride. I honestly think I would be stopped by the police if I were to try to ride a bike around town looking like this but if you see me, give me a push, I probably need it.

Holler!!

Deja Vu

2007-02-05T20:24:00.000-08:00

On Saturday I had my second baby shower in less than 2 years. It was a wonderful event put on at my parents house by my fabulously talented and unusually good looking sister Jenny, with help from our good friend Kristen (girl knows what to do with a bunch of flowers). The lunch was a tea with fresh scones, tiny assorted sandwiches, little quiches, tons of different teas and the best cup cakes I have ever had. Lots of family traveled for the occasion and helped out a ton. I so appreciated seeing everyone and all the adorable gifts. I promise not to have another baby shower again soon. Seriously.

It was kind of surreal for me as my last shower was also in that house on a day just like that and the same people were there - I even sat in the same seat during the gift opening. For some reason I felt that the baby shower was some sort of a barrier between me and this next baby, like I couldn't have the baby before the shower...but now that it's over there is nothing between me and this kid coming. Oh boy. Check out my sister in law's cool site to view pictures of the day.

My kid can poop more times in a day than yours can...

2007-01-30T21:03:00.000-08:00

Miles has been sick for 9 days. At this point I think we have two illnesses going at once. We're spending the long long days changing his diapers, bathing, changing more diapers, watching videos and then, changing more diapers. Poor muffin.

A little about Miles..

2007-01-25T07:52:00.000-08:00

At 15 months
You are very musically inclined. You love to listen to music and you have a bunch of favorite songs (mostly death metal). You'll dance to anything, or nothing at all but your favorite thing is to have someone (esp your dad), hold you and dance to a song. You also love karaoke. Most of the time you just bring the microphone to someone, but recently you've started to make repeated grunting noises into the thing, much to your delight. Your other favorite activity is going outside to feed the fish in our little pond. You ask to go EVERY morning around 6:45am when it's still 45 degrees outside. Usually we tell you the fish are still sleeping and make you wait until it's a reasonable temp outside, but the other day you actually brought me both your shoes and your hat and said "phishhhhh!" and I couldn't resist.

Here are a list of the words you say:

bath
meat
wreath
bird
moon
fish
cheese
more
mama
dada
knee (for Jenny)
tree
kitty
raff (for giraffe)
peas
book
bot (for robot)
gargoyle (grandma taught him that one)
martini with two olives (mama taught him that one)

Because this page needs more Robert....

2007-01-24T21:47:00.000-08:00

Stroller Fun

2007-01-22T08:21:00.000-08:00

Here is a picture of the stroller we ordered.

Post # 1

2007-01-21T13:56:00.000-08:00

Welcome to my blog. I hope you find it interesting, humorous and most of all informative (should prove to be excellent birth control method for teenagers). Robert and I are awaiting the birth of our second baby. She's due on March 15th and after our last ultrasound the Dr said she will weigh around 7.4 lbs if born at full term. This means she's following in Miles's footsteps as he would have likely weighed that much if he had been full term. 7.4 lbs I can handle, I'm not into big babies - no thanks.
I'm big into the nesting stage so every day I wake up with a strong urge to clean and decorate to prepare for the baby. Unfortunately before I can decorate her room, we have to create one by putting up a wall to split our bedroom in 1/2 (anyone living in SB will understand this type of reasoning). Hopefully this will be done within the next few weeks and I can get in there and do my thing. So far I bought some adorable Dwell bedding I am super excited about and yesterday we purchased a double-wide Bob stroller. It took some time to get my head around paying that much for a stroller, but hopefully it will be worth it.